On Grief

One of the most powerful conversations I’ve had was with a head coach a few days after an awful season.

He didn’t just lose games—he lost the fans.
The media piled on.
The stress around the program was palpable.

I remember walking into his office. We sat down.
Pleasantries, sure. But we both knew why I was there.
Not to talk about next steps.
Not off-season plans.

We talked about grief.

And let me tell you—grief is NOT a topic that comes up very often in head coach or senior leader offices.

I told him the sadness was going to surface one way or another—
Either through honest grief or unhealthy coping.

He chose the former.
And then he kept choosing it.

We talked about what it felt like to fail publicly.
To carry the weight of expectations.
To wonder if it was all slipping away.

I came back to his office twice a week for the next few weeks.
We talked it all through.

The shame.
The doubt.
The lessons.

And here’s the thing:
The next season, his team won. A lot.

He eventually moved on to another program—
And won championships there.

Grief didn’t make him soft.
Reflection didn’t slow him down.

It sharpened him.
It cleared space for something stronger to rise.

Because when you have the courage to face what hurts—
You stop carrying it, and start learning from it.