If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like standing on the sideline
of a big-time college football game, I’ll tell you:

It’s mostly an exercise in watching grown men wrestle with reality.
And they tend to fall into one of two camps.

In one camp:
The coach who’s constantly unraveling.
Anger. Profanity.
Yelling at the play, the athlete–reality itself.
Nearly all his energy is spent resisting what’s happening.
And honestly?
No one’s better for it.

In the other camp:
It’s like watching a seasoned sai...

Listen for it.
You’ll hear it everywhere:

“I’m trying to get faster.”
“I’m trying to win new business.”
“I’m trying to be more present.”

Trying sounds noble. But it’s not.
It’s a hedge. A way out.
An escape hatch you build before you even start.

You’re either getting faster or you’re not.
You’re pursuing business or you’re not.
You’re present––or you’re rehearsing the excuse for why you weren’t.

Here’s a test:
Ask someone to watch your kids while you’re out of town.
Or your pet. Or your home.
If they ...

Your inner critic doesn't always shout.
Sometimes, it whispers.

Don't miss the block.
Don't forget your lines.
Don't fumble the sale.

It sounds helpful.
Even responsible.

But listen closer.

That voice isn't giving you a plan.
It's giving you a list of fears.

This is 'avoidance thinking.'
And it puts all your attention on the problem. Not the purpose.

There's another voice.
Quieter. Clearer.

Land the block.
Deliver the line.
Close with confidence.

This is 'approach thinking.'
And it replaces "don't...

It's the first question in any coaching conversation.

What do you want?

Not what's next. Not what's expected. Not what keeps the plates spinning.
What do you want?

It's a hard question when you've been head down for so long.
Another day becomes another week becomes another deadline becomes another fire to put out.

So many of us have gone numb. Our impulses aren't even ours anymore. They belong to the systems we serve.

So before anything else, the coach's task is simple:
Cut through the noise.
C...

Most problems aren’t that mysterious.

When someone’s stuck—complaining, venting, circling the same drain—it’s usually one of three things:

Skills. Standards. Beliefs.

They don’t know how to do the thing.
They haven’t decided what they’ll tolerate.
Or they’re telling themselves a story that makes the whole thing feel impossible.

That’s it.
(This is also the simple gap framework we use in nearly all of our coaching conversations.)

So the next time someone comes to you with a problem, don’t jus...