Moxie: The Talent Trap

"The Ego Is Good As Far As It Goes. But It Doesn't Go Far Enough."


"Echo and Narcissus" by J M Waterhouse.)

ONE STORY

For most of human history, the ego was a gift.

It was a survival tool.
A structure we built to protect ourselves.

It helped us get through childhood. Helped us rise early in our careers. Helped us build identities sharp enough to be seen.

But what helps you survive the first half of life can quietly sabotage the second. Especially when that survival was powered by talent.

SURE, TALENT HELPS

Chances are you’ve got talent. You know you do.

The kind of talent that turns heads and opens doors.

Whether it is business acumen, rare intelligence, elite athleticism, or next-level charm…

If it came easy, it quickly became someone you thought you had to be.

And this can become a tricky trap. 
Just ask Narcissus.

UNTIL IT DOESN'T

You’ve probably heard of Narcissus, the figure from Greek mythology whose name became synonymous with self-obsession.

But the original story is deeper than vanity.

Narcissus was beautiful.
And he knew it.


("The Beauty in the Pool".)

Not in a vain, performative way.
In a way that wrapped his worth around being seen. Being admired. Being the one.

So when he caught his reflection in the water, something clicked.

"There I am."
"There’s the person I’ve been perfecting."
"There’s the image I’ve worked so hard to become."

And so he stared.

Not necessarily because he loved himself.
But because he couldn’t move beyond himself.

He stayed there.
Held hostage by the very trait that made him matter. His beauty wasn’t the problem. His attachment to it was.

And eventually, he dove in, reaching for the image. Trying to possess what was never meant to be held.

And that’s where he drowned.

Not in water.
In ego.


(The Daffodil is also known as 'Narcissus.' Like him, it's often found near water, ever gazing downward toward its reflection.)

THE BRAIN BEHIND THE MIRROR

It turns out, your brain has a system that traps you in self-reflection.

It’s called the Default Mode Network (DMN), and it lights up whenever you’re thinking about yourself.

It handles self-reflection, daydreaming, storytelling, and rehearsing how others see you.

In other words: it’s where your ego lives.

It’s not bad. It helps you build identity, form goals, navigate relationships.

But when it’s overactive, it traps you in self-reference. You start watching your own life more than living it.

Here’s the wild part: when you shift your focus outward–into the present moment, into purpose, into service–the DMN quiets down.

(The Default Mode Network (DMN) is a brain system that activates during rest and powers self-reflection, memory, emotional regulation, and social understanding.)

That's when two other systems take over: The Salience Network, which tells your brain what actually happening now.

And the Executive Attention System, which helps you focus, adapt, and move forward. And when these systems activate, something changes.

You regulate your emotions better.
You become less defensive.

You grow. Literally. The brain becomes more flexible. New neural pathways open up.

Not by protecting your identity.
But by releasing it.

That’s the paradox: The moment you stop performing, you start expanding.

📜 TWO QUOTES

"If serving is beneath you, leadership is beyond you."

— Unknown

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

— Carl Jung

🚀 THREE TAKEAWAYS

1. Focusing on the Present Moment rewires your brain for growth. When you shift from self-focus to purposeful action, the brain activates new systems: enhancing flexibility, empathy, and real change.

2. You don’t grow by polishing the mirror. The longer you cling to your talent or title, the harder it becomes to step into what’s next. Growth starts when you stop proving and start building.

3. You don't need to disavow your past self. You need to outgrow them. Not in shame, but in service. The version of you that got here isn’t wrong; it’s just not enough for where you're going.

🔍 MOXIE REFLECTIONS

• What old labels are you still trying to live up to, long after they stopped serving you?

• What new story might better describe the work you're committed to now?

• Which part of your life feels more like a performance than the real thing?
  
  

   

🛠️ TOOLS FOR GROWTH

🧩 PATTERN RECOGNITION: Identity Foreclosure

Identity Foreclosure is our tendency to commit too early and too rigidly to a self-image, role, or label without fully exploring who we’re becoming.

Why it matters: You work hard to become something: the high-performer, the leader, the fixer, the one who always has it together. And it works, until it doesn’t. 

Result: The label that once gave you clarity becomes a box. You stop asking new questions. You start protecting what got you here instead of building what’s next.

Growth requires evolution.
And sometimes it asks you to change before you're ready.

🧠 MENTAL SKILL OF THE WEEK: Self-Transcendence

Self-Transcendence is the ability to move beyond ego, shifting your focus from self-preservation to purpose, from performance to contribution.

How to use it: When you feel stuck, anxious, or overly self-conscious, ask: “Who am I here to serve?” This question rewires your attention. It quiets the internal noise and activates the brain’s action and empathy systems. You stop performing for approval and start showing up for impact.

The paradox: You don’t lose yourself by transcending ego. You find the part of you that was made to lead.

🌱 ONE MORE THING


("Self-Obsessed." Photo courtesy of The Independent.)

At some point, we all reach the edge.
The water is still. The reflection is strong.

But this time, you don’t stop to admire.
You nod–and keep walking.

That’s the beginning of the second half of life.
That’s real leadership.

And that's Moxie.